dooood… it’s only 3pm, and i’ve already crapped 3 times today. i am a machine, and my plump ass is awesome! if i were a guy i’d call myself Sir Dumps-A-Lot .. get it? ’cause i poo a lot and i like my big butt and i cannot lie. har
i’m gross.
this blog entry is super embarrassing and it makes me cringe even at myself, but i guess ill post it because nobody reads this blog anyway, right? i’m known (to myself at least) to take some hard dumps. hard as in i-don’t-drink-enough-water-so-my-poops-are-super-hard kind of hard. they’re basically bricks. yes, they
tricksies
i was eating dinner, and i farted a big loud pffft which vibrated against the chair. my dog thought the sound was from me dropping food on the floor. he’s still looking for the food. hehehee
