Bloated.

Still constipated. I’ve pooped little pebbles here and there, but all this leftover Halloween candy is clogging up my insides! The smart thing to do would be to stop eating the candy, but that is wasteful, and I do not like to waste such precious delicacies. So I guess I’ll

Old Fart Power

I finally pooped today, albeit it was a small and unsatisfactory poop. As I finished, my 60 year old coworker rushed in to pee. After she finished, she made the biggest, loudest, longest wet bean fart that lasted for an eternity. It was no joke. There was some hardcore sputtering.