When I’m regular, I usually poop between 10 and 11am in the office bathroom. Today I was not regular. I felt bloated, but I didn’t have the urge to poop.

I went to the gym during my lunch break. I still had not pooped yet and I didn’t need to, but I felt heavy down there. I go to the squat rack. I squat. I squat some more. I feel a bowel movement. Thank God I do my kegel exercises; my sphincter was strong enough to hold in my poop, but a little air escaped. Actually, a lot of air escaped. Mix that aroma with the sweaty body odors already in the gym, and you have a deadly concoction. I may or may not have caused some people to stop their workouts. My bad.