“And the funny thing is, I didn’t pull up an apple. It was a big round squishy cow dump, and it was squishing around in my mouth, and then I chewed it, and I was so embarrassed I just swallowed it, and my breath smelled like real bad stinky cow
tv
Turd Burglar
Hamburgers are one of my favorite foods. I ate one yesterday. It was delicious, and everything was fine until 7 hours later my intestines started twisting and bubbling and I had explosive diarrhea at the exact same time my favorite show was about to start. I pushed it out and
i turded all inside my ski pants
“Oops, it’s funny. I just realized a bunch of tiny little turds squeezed out when I did that last lift over there. Oooh, oh I pooped my ski pants. I turded all inside my ski pants.” -shanna (kristen wiig’s character) SNL click here for the hulu link!
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