If you are reading this, you can’t sue me for you vomiting on your computer keyboard or in your lap or anywhere. I am a squeaky clean person. When I shower, I make sure all my orifices are soaped, scrubbed, and soaked with water. This includes my bunghole. But to
turd
Tampon Turd
I made a nice oblong poopie in the toilet. It came out smooth and rested nicely in the bowl. When I inspected it closer (because I like to study my dookies), there was a string sticking out one end of the poo log. It made my dookie look like a
ZOMG.
My dog made the biggest, wettest, brownest, chunkiest, stinkiest diarrhea yesterday morning. I would normally be a very proud mama, but he did this inside my room. On the carpet. One foot away from the hardwood floor. FML.
