Smelly Christmas

I’ve already gained 3lbs with all this holiday eating, and it’s not even Christmas yet. My weight keeps fluctuating after each dump. I’ll put on a couple pounds, then take off one after each yule log exits my chimney chute. I have been extra gassy these past few days thanks

Oops

I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, and as soon as I walked in the thick smell of diarrhea hit my nose. The air was damp and moist, and the fumes were making my eyes water. I instinctively blurted out an UGH!! as I was walking to the stall.