I walked into the office bathroom needing to take a really bad dump. There was a woman at the sink applying her makeup. I hate an audience, but I really had to go. I waddled to the furthest stall and pooped as fast as I could. Suddenly I hear the
poop
Shanna and Peanuts
Mr. Jergens: Circus peanuts! Everybody loves these! Do you want one? Shanna: Are they real peanuts? Mr. Jergens: No, why? Are you allergic? Shanna: I just have a hard time digesting them. One time I ate a bunch of peanuts, and I had a pain near my belly button. So
Dirty Mouth
I live by the three-second rule. If food (preferably dry food) falls on the floor, I have three seconds to pick it up, dust it off, and eat it. I dropped a potato chip on the floor next to my desk. I picked it up, blew off the cooties that
