Most of my poopies are in the shape of logs (or sludge) and they are dark brown. This morning I made a long coiled snakey poop, and it was the color of milk chocolate. Usually it’s the size and shape of my dookies that make me proud, but seeing that
poop
ZOMG.
My dog made the biggest, wettest, brownest, chunkiest, stinkiest diarrhea yesterday morning. I would normally be a very proud mama, but he did this inside my room. On the carpet. One foot away from the hardwood floor. FML.
More Bathroom Awkwardness
I had to poop, so I did my usual sit-at-my-desk-and-hold-in-my-poop-until-the-last-second move. When I was ready to poo, I walked to the bathroom. I was wearing my jingle shoes again, but it didn’t matter because I was going to sit, shit, and return to my desk in less than three minutes.
