Germaphobe

When I use the office bathroom at work, I place my keys on top of the toilet paper dispenser. I did that today, and as I was hovering while peeing I looked at my keys and noticed they were sitting on a pile of pubes. Pubes that were pulled out

More Bathroom Awkwardness

I had to poop, so I did my usual sit-at-my-desk-and-hold-in-my-poop-until-the-last-second move. When I was ready to poo, I walked to the bathroom. I was wearing my jingle shoes again, but it didn’t matter because I was going to sit, shit, and return to my desk in less than three minutes.

Bitter Bowel Face

I am a lightning fast pooper (when I’m not constipated). As soon as I walk into the office bathroom, I sit and shit in about 60 seconds. This is because I hold in my poo until the last second before my anus hole can no longer hold in my dookies.