Mr. Jergens: Circus peanuts! Everybody loves these! Do you want one? Shanna: Are they real peanuts? Mr. Jergens: No, why? Are you allergic? Shanna: I just have a hard time digesting them. One time I ate a bunch of peanuts, and I had a pain near my belly button. So
Dirty Mouth
I live by the three-second rule. If food (preferably dry food) falls on the floor, I have three seconds to pick it up, dust it off, and eat it. I dropped a potato chip on the floor next to my desk. I picked it up, blew off the cooties that
Break Up
I went out of town over the weekend, and my buddy, Travel Constipation, followed. TC hung out with me the entire time, never leaving my side (or my insides). He held on to me (everything I ate), and when I tried to push him away (or out), he refused (farted).
