Apologies on my end for not updating you on my dumps as of late. I was on holiday and went out of the country. And naturally from my stress of flying, like clockwork, I had the runs 10 minutes before boarding my plane. That was a blessing in disguise because I had travel constipation for the next frickin’ week while I was overseas. How disgusting is that? A week’s worth of poop stuffed and piled up in my insides. No matter how hard I pushed, it wasn’t coming out. I drank dairy to stir up my lactose intolerance and hoped for diarrhea, but that didn’t work. I also ate spicy foods, but no ring of fire. Nada for a week. The bowel movement eventually showed itself when I wasn’t expecting it, and I was able to dump what I thought was only a day’s worth of poop. But throughout that day, I took another few more dumps. It was craptastic. The following week, I made regular but tiny poops after each meal. I don’t know what it is about me and travel constipation. It’s like my anus knows I’m not at home and refuses to open those first few days on holiday. I wish it would just loosen up and not be so uptight.

This guy makes me want to poop