i took a sweet dump tonight. totally sweet because it looked exactly like and had the same consistency as everybody’s favorite hazelnut spread.

if i had a weak olfactory system and i saw my shit in a jar, i would probably spread it on toast or make a crepe.

ps- this delicious hazelnut spread has the word nut in it, though its not nutty but very smooth and creamy (as was my dump). it also contains the spanish word for ‘she.’ hint: it is not puta-nut.