i hate it when i’m running and i have a lot of gas and i really really really need to fart, but i have no idea if there is someone behind me (headphones on while running so i don’t hear footsteps, and if i turn around to check i know my clumsy ass will trip!) nor do i know if my fart is going to be super loud, so I just hold it in as i run, and each step is painful because the gas wants to shoot out my ass so fiercely, but i pinch my butt cheeks together so my rump shaker does not blast any audible or poisonous fumes. i did this for 3 miles today. my insides felt like they were going to explode!

after i ran and went to a ‘safe’ place, letting all that pressure out my butt was such a relief. it felt like i took a 2lb dump!