I’ve been trying to eat healthy these past couple of weeks. I’ve cut down on my sugar intake, and I begrudgingly say no to bread (which is near impossible when I want a burger). Weekends are my cheat meal days, and even though I’m technically allowing myself to eat whatever I want, I still try to make it as clean as possible. I failed this weekend when I devoured an extra decadent deep fried pastry. It tasted so good and felt so right going into my stomach, but my intestines thought otherwise. My butt spit up the sweetness in two waves of mushy green-tinted poo. I didn’t eat anything green, it just came out that color. I pooped so much that it felt like I lost a couple pounds, so the guilt of consuming all those calories disappeared. It was kind of an awesome feeling. I think I’ll eat another one next weekend. The only bad thing about it was when I wiped, it looked like I smeared spinach dip all over the toilet paper and all up my butt. That was one messy dump.