IMs from a friend who clogged the toilet:

Him: Dude. My toilet overflowed this morning and flooded my bathroom and then leaked through the floor into my downstairs bathroom. It’s a f’n disaster, and a nightmare for a germophobe like me. It took a few minutes for me to realize that the toilet wasn’t going to stop, and then to find the plunger which was all nasty. I had to walk through the toilet water to get to the toilet.

Me: But you knew to shut the water off, yeah?

Him: No. I had to plunge the toilet to get it to stop.

Me: LOL. There is a shut off valve. A knob you can twist to turn off the toilet water.

Him: Oh well, now it’s cleanup time.

So he had to plunge the toilet to make it stop. That means there was shit water splashing everywhere. Total toilet newb: Walked on shit water. Then walked on carpet to find his plunger. Then walked back to his shit water only to splash it everywhere until the toilet stopped spewing shit water onto the bathroom floor. What a crappy way to start the day.