Before you think of anything dirty– No, I was not in the men’s bathroom. But my guy friend was. This is his story:

I just went and shat.  The guy next to me had the most horrible gurgling diarrhea ever. The sound was like if you had some kind of industrial sized drain with a huge clog, and then you unclogged it.  It sounded like his butthole was a foot wide and a mixture of liquid and gas was rushing through it.  A really deep sound. I wiped and got the hell out of there before the smell disabled me.

The end.

Here’s a fun gurgling sound.