Men aren’t the only ones with bazooka butts. My mom has a mega machine gun fart box. She can really rip one like she just ate a can of beans, but she doesn’t need beans to make her sputtering wet bean farts. Her butt is just gifted when it comes to passing gas. Odd thing is her toots don’t smell. Mine however, whether they are silent, loud, cheesy or wet, they are always super stinky.
I’m with you in the always-super-stinky club, as are my mom and sister. On the other hand, my brother and dad have the odorless bazooka types. So in my family, at least, there is a strong gender-fart correlation. Clearly more research is needed on this mysterious and fascinating issue!
LOL. It’s a blessing and a curse to always have stinky gas. Blessing because I kind of like to smell my farts (I’m disgusting and I know it!). Curse because I can’t push out a silent one in public without people dropping like flies if they are within 15 feet of me.
A blessing and a curse is how I would describe it! Your “15 feet” reference reminds me of the scale that my sister and I invented for rating farts (oh yes, we’re disgusting also). There are three categories – awfulness of stink, stink radius, and hangtime – each rated from 1 to 10. For awfulness, a 10 means gag-worthy. For radius, every 2 feet is worth 1 point. And for hangtime (how long the fart lingers), every minute is worth 1 point. So it’s totally normal for me to get a text from her that says “just had 8/5/3 in aisle at Trader Joes. blame chinese food.” Feel free to adapt our system for use at your blog, lol!
HAHAHA!! Thanks for the gas-o-meter!