On Saturdays I sit at my computer and do meaningless surfing. My dog woke up from a nap, and I picked him up and sat him on my lap as I browsed Amazon. I had a bowel movement, but it could wait a few minutes. I checked the clock and allotted myself five minutes before making my way to the toilet. I was starting to develop a turtle head, but a few minutes of waiting wouldn’t hurt. I momentarily looked back at the clock it to see that 30 minutes had already passed. The turtle head has almost matured into a turtle body. I beeline it to the bathroom with my dog in my arms, set him down and then sit myself down on the toilet. As I’m pushing the first turd out, my dog jumps up and runs outside the bathroom and pops a squat, and we release logs simultaneously. Whoops. I guess I waited a little too long for the both of us. After I wiped myself, I wiped the floor (with a clean sheet of toilet paper).