‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even my bowels.
The TP was hung by the toilet with care,
in hopes that a dookie soon would be there.

My intestines were twisted, turds heavy as lead,
while extraneous amounts of pushing popped a vein in my head.
With undies at my ankles, I strained to crap,
My fruitless laboring grew tiresome, it was time for a nap.

When hours later my stomach gurgled such a clatter,
I sprang to from my bed before my butt made a splatter.
Away to the toilet I flew like a flash,
tore open my bunghole, and threw up the stash.

The toilet on the breast of fresh, brown flow,
I looked in the bowl, it was beautiful but Whoa..
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature brown boat and eight kernels from a corn ear.

With a little green color down at the tip,
I knew in a moment it must be the spinach dip.
More remnants of dinner, out my butt they came,
as my bum whistled and farted I called them by name:

“Now Poopachu! Now Shart-keisha!
Now, Brown Curry and Dingle Mix’ins!
On, Butt Vomit! On, Feces Fluids!
On, Demon Spawner and Turd Finns!
To the bottom of the toilet!
Wash off the porcelain wall!
Now flush away! Flush away!
Flush away all!”

The swoosh of flushing toilets make fecal particles fly,
So I put down the cover after saying good-bye
to my eight golden friends on the brown boat cruise,
with spinach dip mixed on the ends of the poo.

I sprang to my feet, out my butt came a whistle,
Pulled up my pants, with memories of turd missiles.
Reminiscing of poo-ventures past with delight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Merry Christmas from Poots and Toots!