I’ve heard of women’s menstrual synchrony, but is there such as a thing as poop synchrony? I had to drop a mad deuce, so I went to my usual bathroom at the office to take care of business. All stalls were being used. Usually when this happens there is a constant sound of rustling toilet paper, underwear being pulled back into place, toilet flushing, and then someone eventually emerges from behind the metal stall door within a few seconds. But this time it was different: motionless feet seen under stall doors and complete silence. All that could be heard was muffled sounds of a turd trying to be pushed through a fartbox and an occasional splash. I left and went to the next closest bathroom. Déjà vu. More feet, more silence.

So it’s true. Women who live together menstruate together. And women who work together drop deuces together.