I had a bout of explosive diarrhea this afternoon. I went to my usual bathroom at the office, but the cleaning lady was in there mopping the floor. So I found another bathroom to empty my colon. I don’t usually like to use this one because it’s right next to an occupied office. Today, there was a crowd of people chatting outside that office. I was hoping they’d disperse by the time I reached the stall inside the bathroom, but I could still hear them outside. I tried to release my poop slowly, but there is no such thing as slow explosive diarrhea. It was a symphony of ass blasting trumpets. I assume they heard and felt embarrassed for me because they were gone after I was done. I hope I wasn’t the joke around the water cooler later on in the day. I probably was.