I went out of town over the weekend, and my buddy, Travel Constipation, followed. TC hung out with me the entire time, never leaving my side (or my insides). He held on to me (everything I ate), and when I tried to push him away (or out), he refused (farted). When I finally arrived home he knew his time was up, and he let out a little cry (toot). But then he got really angry, and that turned into an explosion of emotional outbursts (lots of messy poo). It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders (my butt lost three pounds).