I ran six miles, and I had to poo the entire time. Yep. Monster turtle head. Somehow towards the end of my sixth mile, the turtle retracted it’s head. So when I went to poo immediately after my run (I usually like to wait ’til I dry the sweat off because I hate pulling down sticky sweaty underwear), I wasn’t able to push anything out.

1) I had a crappy run.
2) My butt is fatigued from flexing it for six miles. (eww, sounds dirty)
3) I had sweaty underwear around my sweaty legs.
4) My sweaty butt stuck to the toilet seat. (double eww)
5) I didn’t poo.
6) :(.