dont you hate it when youre on hold on the phone and you gotta take a mad shit? i was on hold with my bank for a long time (30 min) and i had to go really badly, but i wasnt about to hang up because i had waited so long already. so i took the phone into the bathroom to make my ploppies. too bad as soon as i released, someone picked up on the other line. i was able to mute the sounds of my splashies, but it doesnt help that talking in a bathroom is super obvious (the echoing). it’s also near impossible to stop peeing mid-stream, so the echoing sound of piss sprinkle was also obvious.

the conversation went something like this:

me pushing out a doosie: plop poopy plop plop

suddenly the operator picks up mid-plop: hello this is *insert name* how may i help you?

me trying to squeeze close my orifices: hi i have a question tinkle tinkle about tinkle tinkle tinkle my account fart