i’m in the office, and i have severe gas. i want to fart so badly but i know that won’t end well (i didn’t poo this morning, so i know it’ll be stinky).

so i’m holding in my farts, and it is painful. it’s also causing internal gas bubbly noises, which are as loud as (and sound like) farts anyway. i could maybe go in the corner and let a few slide, but with my luck someone will see (and smell) me in action. why can’t farts be socially acceptable?! oh, nevermind… i don’t want to smell or hear anyone’s fart but my own.